On Thursday, June 9, 1988, the group of Ron Brown, Ginger Peters, Jessica Langston, Alecia Mapes, Matthew Gillespie, Brian Harris, and the two authors viewed the movie classics Friday the 13th (1980), Friday the 13th Part II (1981), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), and Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter (1984). Later that night the authors viewed Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning (1985) and Friday the 13th Part VI - Jason Lives (1986). [At the same time, Steve Jones watched Part VII, The New Blood, at the Will Rogers Theater downtown.] All shows Rated 'R' [and therefore inappropriate for most of us]. Analyses were made in the following areas of the series: body count, victim analysis, and methods of assault. The results are as follows.

Please note that any numerical data are approximations and are not guaranteed to be completely exact. We are only human, after all.

BODY COUNT
Total kills per movie (by Jason or otherwise, and not including dream sequences and Jason himself, 'cause he always comes back):

Part I: 11
Part II: 10
Part III: 12
Part IV: 12
Part V: 19
Part VI: 18
Part VII: 17

TOTAL KILLS IN SERIES: 99
AVERAGE KILLS PER FLICK: 14.142857

VICTIM ANALYSIS
Total # of males killed: 63
Total # of females killed: 36

Male victim tallies:

- 17 youth, 36 adult
- 4 blond, 1 redhead, 50 brunettes, 8 miscellaneous
- 29 asked for it, 34 didn't
- 20 were involved in sexual activity, 42 were not

Female victim tallies:

- 15 youth, 21 adults
- 9 blonde, 7 redheads, 19 brunettes, 1 miscellaneous
- 18 asked for it, 18 didn't
- 16 were involved in sexual activity, 20 were not

Special cases included Kevin Bacon, one wheelchair-bound man, and one pregnant girl.

Based on the most common characteristics of the victims, Jason's Ideal Victim is a brunette adult male who wasn't asking for it, and wasn't having sex.

EXPLETIVE COUNT
A general record was kept on the number of single instances of profanity per movie. Specific numbers are not available, but it was apparent that the number averaged about 15 during the first three shows, then skyrocketed to above 30 or 40 in the following 3. Apparently the trend these days is that foul language is more and more commonplace and acceptable.

JASON'S METHODS OF DISPOSAL (or his mother's in Part I, or the paramedic's in the case of Part V)

Victims met their maker after the following acts were performed on their persons (if the method was used more than once, it is noted to the right):

- stabbed in the stomach (8)
- throat slit (6)
- stabbed through back of neck
- axed in head
- arrow shot through head
- beheaded (5)
- axed in chest
- ice pick through head
- strangled with barbed wire
- hammer claws through head
- machete'd through head
- spear through back (guy)/front (girl) while making love
- stabbed in crotch (2)
- butcher knife in chest
- pitchfork through neck
- pitchfork through stomach
- dart in eye
- sliced symmetrically while walking on hands
- stabbed through hammock
- electrocuted
- strangled
- head squished (2)
- head sawed off
- pinned against wall
- thrown out window on head
- crucified
- general mauling with garden prongs
- knife in head
- sliced down chest
- chopped up
- stabbed in neck (from the front)
- flare stuck in mouth (the authors' personal favorite)
- face constricted by a leather strap
- eyeballs poked out by pruning shears
- stake through back
- bottle through neck
- plastered into tree
- bent over backwards
- eyeballs popped out
- hand through body
- machete to face (2)
- head twisted off

to name but a few.

INJURIES SUSTAINED BY THE BAD GUY
But sometimes people fought back! And here's what we, the helpless brunettes, did to him:

- shot (10)
- drowned (2, including origin)
- hit with car door
- machete'd in the neck, chest, head
- hanged
- hit in head with lamp
- tackled (3)
- kicked (4)
- hammer to head
- hit with rock (5)
- groin kick
- chainsaw slice (2)
- books upon head
- hit with chair
- hit with end-loader
- propellered to death
- brained with shovel
- stabbed in upper leg
- knife in knee
- clubbed with firewood (2)
- burnt
- hands caught in car window

And that's just the tip of the iceberg! So wouldn't you figure he'd be dead by now, with all those things done to him? Go figure. It's Hollywood.

SCREAM ANALYSIS
The majority of death scenes were also audiotaped for analysis. It is apparent upon listening to the sequences, that just about the same annoying stringed instrument music is employed each time someone is wasted.

"PLOT" ANALYSIS
We also noted that there was some legitimate continuity and development throughout the series. Part I served to tell the story of the drowning of Jason Voorhees (because the camp counselors were having sex instead of lifeguarding), and how his mom went schizo afterwards - she did all the killing in the first movie, but she got killed; Jason apparently saw the murder from the lake [the authorities never removed his body?], so he then came back to seek revenge on all counselors because of her death.

Part II starts up Jason's plunders around Camp Crystal Lake, and shows just how ugly he is. Part III develops Jason's more superhuman abilities, such as his exceptional strength and his inability to be killed (again). He also gains his hockey mask from a victim. In Part IV ("The Final Chapter") a boy named Tommy apparently finally kills him. In Part V ("A New Beginning") we find a grown-up Tommy slightly insane, tormented by memories of Jason - and a local paramedic takes up Jason's identity for pillaging the locals, which doesn't exactly help Tommy's crazed condition. And in Part VI ("Jason Lives") the original Jason comes back to life to get Tommy and others. Clearly Jason has long become something more than human.

And so the story goes…